The Unexpected Upsides of Getting Fired

The first time I was laid off, I was 21 years old. A year out of college, I’d been working as a health educator at a student health center. To be perfectly honest, I hated my job. I was poorly paid and overwhelmed with responsibility. Worst of all, I despised my boss. It was the kind of work environment where getting up in the morning is physically painful, and most of your free time is spent quietly crying in the bathroom.

And yet as miserable as the job made me, being called into my boss’s office to be told my contract would not be renewed felt even worse. Having an awful job was bad enough, but failing at it? As an Ivy League graduate who’d always breezed through school, failure was an unfamiliar sensation. And an unwelcome one. Unprepared for a moment like, all I knew for sure was that it felt awful.

After I got the news, I wandered the school’s beautiful campus, bawling my way through my cell’s contact list. I’m sure I phoned quite a number of people that afternoon, but the only conversation I remember was the one I had with my father.

 

“Why are you crying?” he asked me. “You hated that job.”

 

 

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Forget 4-Leaf Clovers: Make Your Own Luck

You may know St. Patrick’s Day as an annual green-themed day of drinking beer, but at its core this holiday is really celebrating good luck and prosperity. Irish mythology and folklore is particularly wrapped up in good luck, from a saint snake charmer saving the island to little green leprechauns who bring pots of gold.

You may wonder sometimes why some entrepreneurs seem to have better luck than others, but the truth is you don’t need luck. You can make your own. Create your own luck with these three simple practices that seem to make every entrepreneur successful and prosperous -- no pot of gold required.

1. Always be prepared

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. You will have the opportunity to embark on many successful ventures, both personally and professionally, if you can keep your eyes and ears open for them.
Here’s a few ways to prepare yourself so you’re lucky the next time opportunity knocks:

• Always have your phone or a business card on you. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone great for business, or for your personal life, and not having an easy way to give them your contact information. 

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7 Types of Friends Every Woman Needs in Her Life

The ride or die friend

This friend is loyal to the core and the epitome of the friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

She can be depended on to be there with you to celebrate your victories and successes or offer a shoulder to cry or lean on. She’ll show up at your door with a pint of your favorite ice cream when someone breaks your heart, bring over chicken soup and magazines when you are down with the flu and no one else wants to be around you, and can always be counted on to come and pull through for you during life’s crisis.

 

She’s often the first one to extend an olive branch after the two of you fight because she values your friendship more than she does being right. She laughs with you, cries with you and stands up for you because that is what a great and true friend does. She is definitely a keeper and the kind of friend everyone should have!

The sensible, mature, responsible one

We all need that one level-headed friend who offers us great advice when we need it, helps keep us grounded and prevents us from acting like a fool when we feel like drunk-dialing an ex at 3:00am. She has an amazing way of making you think twice before you act and putting things into perspective.

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How to Increase Your Productivity with the Right Kind of Breaks

Everyone has that person in the office. You know, the one who always seems to get way more done than everybody else, but who never seems stressed or frantically trying to finish an assignment. How does he or she get it done? And can you steal those secrets to improve your own productivity?
Yes. Yes you can.

Using time-tracking and productivity app DeskTime, we've been able to study the habits of the most productive employees — and pinpoint the working flow that leads to that incredible ability to get things done.

And the trick might surprise you. Turns out, what the most productive 10% of our users have in common is their ability to take effective breaks. Specifically, the most productive people work for 52 minutes at a time, then break for 17 minutes before getting back to it.

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16 Uncomfortable Feelings that Indicate You Are on the Right Path

Discomfort is what happens when we are on the precipice of change. Unfortunately, we often confuse it for unhappiness, and cope with the latter while running from the former. It usually takes a bit of discomfort to break through to a new understanding, to release a limiting belief, to motivate ourselves to create real change. Discomfort is a signal, one that is often very helpful. Here are a few (less than desirable) feelings that may indicate you’re on the right path after all:

1. Feeling as though you are reliving your childhood struggles. You find that you’re seeing issues you struggled with as a kid reappear in your adult life, and while on the surface this may seem like a matter of not having overcome them, it really means you are becoming conscious of why you think and feel, so you can change it.

2. Feeling “lost,” or directionless. Feeling lost is actually a sign you’re becoming more present in your life – you’re living less within the narratives and ideas that you premeditated, and more in the moment at hand. Until you’re used to this, it will feel as though you’re off track (you aren’t).

3. “Left brain” fogginess.

 

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Why Lack of Sleep Increases Late Night Snack Cravings

Decades of studies have shown that those who sleep poorly are more likely to be obese—our need for sleep and calories seem deeply linked. Why that may be, however, has been difficult to understand.

A new study published in the journal Sleep, suggest that the reason so many of us crave late-night snacks may have to do with how sleep changes brain chemistry. Though it’s a small study, it builds on previous research about how the body responds differently to food consumption at various times of the day.

Researchers from the University of Chicago recruited 14 men and women in their twenties to be monitored in a sleep lab and split them into two groups. In two, four-day sessions, both groups’ food consumption and sleep time were strictly controlled. They all received three meals at 9am, 2pm, and 7pm. During the first visit, one group slept 7.5 hours a night and the other slept a little more than four hours. Then, during the next visit, they kept their meal times the same but swapped their sleeping hours.

After the final night in each session, the volunteers were offered as much food as they would like to eat. In both sessions, the researchers found that those who had slept less ate, on average, 300 calories more than those who had slept more.

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Your Strongest Friendship May Be a Long Distance One

1. Time together is so special.

We see one another so rarely that any time together is a gift. There is no room for small spats or any kind of conflict because every minute that goes by is another minute till we have to say goodbye again. Every second counts. We are so cautious never to waste time on anything but loving, supporting and listening to one another.

2. We’re really comfortable with the fact that we have other friends.

I have had friends in the past who need constant reassurance that I like them best of all. I have been that friend a lot, too, in some of my friendships, but never with any of my faraway friends. When you’re in a long-distance friendship, you can’t expect that from somebody. Of course we have other friends. Thank god you have other friends. There’s no need to constantly confirm our definitive friend ranking because we know that long-distance friends are on a different list altogether.

3. There is a bigger freedom for growth.

When I met my best friend, we both had braces and bad taste in music.

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5 Things to Stop Saying to Those You Care About

I’m not asking you to strip your refrigerator of feel-good magnets or to toss all of those inspirational pillows. I’m just asking you to be a bit more mindful of the phrases that cross your lips when someone is need of comfort.

I come by my dislike of platitudes honestly, having been raised in a family which never met a cliché it didn’t take to heart, accept as wisdom, and offer up as the sole balm whenever I was upset. It was complicated by the fact that these were in Dutch—but I learned that the language in which a platitude is expressed matters little. My tears were countered with the truism Na regen komt zonneschijn (“After rain comes sunshine”), but even though the sun always came out eventually, it was clear to me that, particularly in Holland, it can rain for days on end, and what did that have to do with why I was crying? When I was disappointed or hurt, someone would inevitably murmur Alles heeft een reden (“Everything has a reason”) even though it didn’t seem, even at a very young age, that this was either reasonable or explanatory. (It still isn’t.)

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The Easiest Way to Put the Healthies Foods in Your Normal Routine

Healthy Food #1: Lemons

Why They're Healthy:
— Just one lemon has more than 100 percent of your daily intake of vitamin C, which may help increase "good" HDL cholesterol levels and strengthen bones.
— Citrus flavonoids found in lemons may help inhibit the growth of cancer cells and act as an anti-inflammatory.
Quick Tip:
Add a slice of lemon to your green tea. One study found that citrus increases your body's ability to absorb the antioxidants in the tea by about 80 percent.
 

Healthy Food #2: Broccoli

Why It's Healthy:
— One medium stalk of broccoli contains more than 100 percent of your daily vitamin K requirement and almost 200 percent of your recommended daily dose of vitamin C — two essential bone-building nutrients.
— The same serving also helps stave off numerous cancers.
Quick Tip:
Zap it! Preserve up to 90 percent of broccoli's vitamin C by microwaving. (Steaming or boiling holds on to just 66 percent of the nutrient.)

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How Successful People Start the Day

Whether you’re a morning person or a night owl, we all start our day at some point. And we all seem to start it differently.
Some of us hop online to check social media, others dive in to email, still others eat breakfast, exercise, or pack lunches for the kids. There’re a million different ways a morning could go.

Which morning routine might be best?
While there’s probably not an ideal morning routine that fits everyone, we can learn a lot from the morning routines of successful people as well as from the research and inspiration behind starting a morning on the right foot.
I collected a wide range of opinions on how best to start a day, from the scientific to the successful. Here’s the best of what I found—maybe it’ll help you get a little more productivity, creativity, and enjoyment out of your morning.

Science says: Willpower is highest in the morning, so start strong

You’ve maybe heard the advice that your first work of the day should be something meaningful and significant, a task that might take a lot of focus, will, and determination to accomplish. The reason: We’re limited with our self-control.

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How Grieving has Evolved for Americans

Walker Posey's family has been in the funeral business since 1879. For most of that time, Posey Funeral Directors in North Augusta, South Carolina, was strictly a brick-and-mortar enterprise. But in recent years, Posey has helped get the family business online — despite initial resistance from his father.
"We've come from the horse and carriage days to the days of webcasting funerals," said Posey, who also serves as a spokesman for the National Funeral Directors Association and as a consultant for funeralOne, a company that offers technological services to funeral homes.
His father's initial resistance to embracing innovation in an industry that's remained largely unchanged since the Civil War isn't uncommon, though Posey said he thinks his colleagues are finally coming around. They're realizing, he suggested, that innovation in death care stands to bring people closer to death and the grieving process, not push them further away.
The nature of grief is transforming. Neither embalming bodies for burial nor cremating them is all that environmentally friendly. And, as more and more people move to cities, cemeteries are often far out of the way from their homes, creating a physical barrier to mourning. The percentage of Americans that choose burial over cremation is projected to keep falling, according to the NFDA.

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How To Deal with Passive Aggressive People

Dealing with people who exhibit passive-aggressive behavior is easily one of the most challenging aspects of our social lives. Here's what you need to know about this annoying personality quirk and how you can handle people who express their hostility in indirect and backhanded ways.

Interacting with passive-aggressive (PA) people is something many of us are all too familiar with. As a behavior, it manifests in many different ways — some of them quite backhanded and subtle — which can make it difficult to recognize.

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Simply put, passive-aggressiveness is a way of expressing hostility, albeit through typically muted, seemingly apathetic, and indirect channels of negative behavior. It can involve everything from the passive resistance of everyday social and work-related tasks (e.g. procrastination, learned helplessness, deliberate inefficiency, and forgetfulness) through to stubbornness, resentment, and contradictory behavior (e.g. appearing to be enthusiastic about something, but purposefully acting in a way that's unhelpful and sometimes damaging).

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Its Never Too Late to Start Over

It’s never too late to start over. To hit the pause button. Breathe. Then begin again.

 

You don’t need to lose yourself in the shuffle, get caught up in your mistakes and your fears and your anxieties. You don’t have to hold onto your anger or your sadness and carry it with you in a little jar. You are more than a little jar, waiting to be filled by unsatisfying things—material things, superficial love, addictions and vices and so many other negatives that leave you feeling emptier than before. You are more than that little jar you feel defines the person you are, so much so that you try to fit yourself in its glass walls, try to keep contained within the edges and not overflow.

Life is imperfect.

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How to Keep Work from Following You Home

If you have a hard time shutting down at the end of the day, you’re not alone. Most of us have a habit of letting the workday linger. To keep this from happening, assign a specific place and time for your unfinished business.

 

This tip comes from research published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology. The research studied over 100 employees pursuing 1,127 different goals. Unsurprisingly, the study found employees had a hard time detaching themselves from incomplete work at the end of the day. Most of us have been there: there’s a task we didn’t get to, and even though it can wait, we can’t stop thinking about it, so we take it home or stay at the office later than we’d like.

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Returning to Work After Baby

Adjusting to life after having a baby is not easy. On top of learning how to take care of this tiny human, you also have to learn to juggle the numerous responsibilities you had before becoming a mother for the first, second or third time.

Some employers offer family or maternity leave for their colleagues who recently had children. The standard time off for a new mother is typically 6 weeks. During this time, the new working mom is allowed to spend this allotted break to bond with her new family, make arrangements for childcare, and (most importantly) rest.

Many of my friends are just now becoming mothers, and it appears we all “decided” to hop on this bandwagon at the same time in our late 30s.  But while they come from different walks of life, one thing I recognized about all of my girlfriends who returned to work after having a baby is just how difficult it really is.The main source of unease was not having to go back to work per se, but having to leave their new little one with a nanny, family member or in day care.

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How to Take Criticism Despite the Delivery

Your critics aren’t always going to be the nicest people to interact with. To take the criticism effectively without the emotional hit to the self-esteem, ignore how it’s delivered.

When a critic gives you their opinion, the first natural reaction is to respond emotionally. It doesn’t feel great when someone tells you all your flaws. However, as business blog Inc. points out, putting your feelings aside to focus on how you can improve will be more beneficial to you:

But the truth is, criticism is often rooted in truth—even when it’s not delivered in an ideal manner. When you receive negative feedback, you have two choices: You can put your feelings aside and try to learn from the situation, or you can get angry and let emotion get the best of you. One method is proactive, the other is reactive.
Guess which one will benefit you in the long run?

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3 Tips on How to Raise Kids Who won't Bully

By Samin Razzaghi for YourTango

I recently read an article on YourTango about what it’s really like to be the mom of a bullied child. What’s so disheartening is that the experience of that mom and her daughter is SO much more common in our schools and communities than we want to believe.
Before I was a life coach in private practice, I had the chance to work with teen girls as a school counselor. I was privileged to have them share with me their struggles with bullying, feelings of low self-esteem and the daily challenges that most parents are either unaware of or feel powerless to do anything about. I’ve seen teen girls call each other names, put out compromising photos of each others on the internet, and just be plain mean to one another.
What I found the hardest to witness as confidant for these girls was the messages they received from adults. Whether it was the teachers or the parents, when kids bring up the topic of bullying, the response is that it’s a totally normal part of growing up – almost a right of passage. People drum it up to the fact that “all kids get bullied,” or that “girls are mean”.

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How to Know if You Are More Successful than You Think You Are

Here's the funny thing about success--no one can agree what the word means. The definition of the good life varies from person to person, as one individual prioritizes career glory while another values a nurturing home life.
That means there's no way to be successful without first deciding what you mean by the term. But it also means that, if you haven't spent time really reflecting on your personal definition of success in a while, you could actually be closer to achieving it than you suspect.
That's the uplifting message of a great recent Lifehack post by Carles Sabarich. In it, Sabarich contends that "lack of clarity can make it easy to believe that you are a failure, even when all the evidence in your life ... points to other conclusions." He goes on to offer a monster list of 25 tells that you're probably more successful than you currently feel. Here are 10 in brief to get you started.

1. You aren't controlled by your income.

"If you are able to go day-to-day without the worry that you won't have enough money to last until the end of the month, then you are most definitely a success!" declares Sabarich, offering readers a healthy dose of perspective.

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5 Survival Tips for Working the Night Shift

Being the night shift nurse is a grueling job. Though, it is the shift many nurses start on in their career. I have worked as a labor and delivery nurse for the last 10 years, 8 of them on the night shift. I have come up with these 5 tips that helped me get through it with two kids, a husband, and a dog.

Schedule It Right

Many nurses, like me, are mothers. As a mother, you have many responsibilities and sleep is never a priority, especially on the night shift. No one will understand. You can tell your mother that you worked last night, and she will still want to go shopping at noon, thinking that was enough sleep. Let me tell you, it is not. I tried to explain it to my husband one time by saying, “OK, so if you go to bed at 10, can you get up and start your day at 2 am, or even worse, make dinner, check homework, and chase the toddler? He tried to understand.

When I worked my twelve-hour shifts, I would ALWAYS schedule myself three shifts in a row. Was that a lot? My goodness, it was. Was I exhausted? Of course! Then why three twelve hour shifts in a row?

Your body, at least in my case, never adapts to night shift. Three in a row made it easier because my body got “used” to the schedule on the second night, and even though it was so hard to get motivated for the third night, I knew after that I would be done. Though, you have to find what works best for you.

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How To Balance Childhood Development and Digital Devices

A growing body of literature is now addressing the collision of the digital age with the rapidly advancing sciences of parenting, brain development and reading acquisition.

 

In March the Deseret News highlighted a new book by Dan Willingham at the University of Virginia on raising kids who enjoy reading. More recently the Deseret News spoke with Dana Suskind, a surgeon at the University of Chicago and director of the Thirty Million Words Initiative, which focuses on getting parents and caregivers to build a richer verbal environment for very young children.

 

“Tap, Click & Read: Growing Readers in a World of Screens,” by Lisa Guernsey and Michael Levine, now takes its place on this bookshelf. It looks at how parents, caregivers and teachers can navigate digital media devices, using them to enhance learning.

 

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Ask This One Question Before Accepting a New Job

Your workplace's culture has a huge impact on your happiness and success, which is why it's important to suss out a company's values, norms, and practices before you take a new job.

To do this, Adam Grant, a professor of management at Wharton who wrote the forthcoming book "Originals," writes in The New York Times that you need to ask one important question: "How is this organization different from all other organizations?"

The answer, he says, should come in the form of a story.

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Why You Should Set Aside One Hour For Yourself Everyday

Most of your working hours are probably taken up by someone else. Your boss or your clients want you to do their stuff. If you’re not happy with your situation, give yourself one hour a day where the only boss you have is you.

Personal finance site My Money Blog relays this handy advice from notable investor Warren Buffet. We’re often tempted to work extra hours in order to improve our lives. A little extra money never hurt, right? However, you may be better off stopping work at quitting time and spending that extra time working on yourself. Learn a skill, work on your side job, fill out your resume. Something that benefits your goals, not someone else’s:

If you’re an administrative assistant making $10 an hour and you don’t want to be, don’t just sign up to work another hour for $10. Working longer is not necessarily the best idea.

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12 Habits to Adopt to Create Immediate Growth

January may well be the month of good intentions for leaders everywhere. Whether it is going to the gym more, improving your sleep or perhaps a far fetch goal you have repeatedly stated on December 31 that has always dissipated by the end of January.
Instead of following a similar futile pattern for your focus in 2016, make this the year you are going to be more intentional about where you spend your time, your energy and your resources. Follow these 12 habits that successful leaders adopt to create explosive growth in their business:

1. Spend one third on the future
Spend 30 percent of your time on how your business will be in 1-2 years.

2. Pretend you are going on a sabbatical
Delegate away all of your responsibilities as though you were taking a three-month sabbatical. Now focus only on strategic long-term projects.

3. Tell your team the truth
Be honest with your direct team about their future potential and how you can develop them.

       4. Stop delaying changing out your team

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Turn Your Goals Into "If/Then" Statements

With any goal, pitfalls are usually inevitable. You want to eat healthier but your coworker brings cupcakes. You want to save money but your car needs work. To stay ahead of setbacks, give your goal an if-then plan.

We’ve talked about this concept before in terms of building your willpower. To connect the impulsive part of your brain with the calm, methodical part, use an if-then statement to control your behavior. For example, you might say, “if I feel angry, then I will count to ten.” It’s a simple example, but you get the idea.

Similarly, you can use if-then statements to safeguard your ambitious goals against any potential setbacks. As O Magazine editor Jihan Thompson puts it:

“Ambitious plans are commendable (‘I’m going to lose 30 pounds this year!’), but they don’t account for inevitable roadblocks. If you want to have a fighting chance at sticking to your resolutions, you would do well to develop if-then plans: if someone brings cupcakes or pizza or candy to work, then I….”

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